Armed and Honking Women's Tee
A goose with a kitchen knife in his beak and absolutely no plan. Wear it so everyone knows you're also one bad day from bringing a blade to the pond.
Every park has a goose. You know the one. He doesn't migrate. He doesn't share. He stands in the middle of the walking path daring the world to try something. For years he settled every dispute with hissing alone. Then one Tuesday somebody left a kitchen knife near the picnic tables, and the goose, who has a brain the size of a grape and the confidence of a man who owns a boat, picked it up. Nobody knows what he plans to do with it. That includes the goose.
Honk Once for Yes, Twice for Run
The first honk is a warning. The second honk means he's already moving. There is no third honk. Witnesses say he walks like a guy who just got cut off in traffic and is now getting out of his car. The neck is fully committed. The legs are fully committed. The knife is, frankly, overcommitted.
Simple Design, Serious Threat
Big white body. Little orange feet. One kitchen blade held at a jaunty, deeply concerning angle. It reads clean from across a parking lot, which is exactly where you should stay if you see this goose in real life.
Pecking Order Approved
Soft enough for a lazy lap around the lake, comfy enough for the sprint back to your car when the honking starts. Relaxed fit, like a goose who owns the path and knows it.
Pond HR Has Been Notified
Beefthroat does not endorse arming waterfowl, sharpening anything for a bird, or letting a goose near your cutlery drawer. If you see this goose, do not engage. Do not offer bread. He doesn't want bread. He wants to watch you leave. 🔪
Add to cart, avoid the pond, and never turn your back on anything that honks.
More details
- 100% combed and ring-spun cotton
- Heather Prism Lilac & Heather Prism Natural are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester
- Athletic Heather is 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
- Other Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester
- Lightweight fabric (4.2 oz)
- Women's relaxed fit
EU GPSR Product Information:
- Manufacturer contact information
- Name: Beefthroat
- Email: contact@support.beefthroat.com
- Postal address: PO Box 5696 Santa Monica, CA 90405
- Additional information: This product is made for adults. Meets the flammability level requirements. 2 year warranty in EEA and UK, established by Directive 1999/44/EC.
Quality Guarantee & Returns
- Quality is guaranteed. If there is a print error or visible quality issue, we'll replace or refund it.
- Because the products are made to order, we do not accept general returns or sizing-related returns.
Armed and Honking Women's Tee Size Guide
| Size label | Length | Width | Sleeve length |
|---|---|---|---|
|
S
|
25
|
18
|
7
|
|
M
|
26
|
20
|
8
|
|
L
|
26
|
22
|
8
|
|
XL
|
27
|
24
|
9
|
|
2XL
|
28
|
26
|
10
|
|
3XL
|
29
|
28
|
10
|
