Overgrown Overlord Plant Mech Tee
Long after the last human forgot to water their houseplant, the houseplant remembered. It crawled into an abandoned war machine, wrapped its roots around the hydraulics, grew a mouth full of hot-pink fangs, and installed its own emotional support terrarium right where the heart should be. Scientists call it a "bio-mechanical apex organism." The neighborhood calls it Gary. Gary is hungry.
Rust, Roots, and Unresolved Rage
This is what happens when you neglect a fern for three weeks. One claw for crushing, one hand of thorny vine-fingers for pointing at people who said succulents are "basically unkillable." Feet made of tree roots, so it never has to leave. It lives here now. So does its grudge.
Comfort Grown in Captivity
Soft enough to photosynthesize in, broken in like a lawn chair that's survived four summers of bad decisions. It fits like it's slowly absorbing you, which, to be clear, it is. Wash cold. Do not feed after midnight. Do not feed at all, actually. It feeds itself.
Side Effects May Include
Strangers asking if you're "into plants" right before you show them your teeth. A sudden urge to stand in direct sunlight and refuse to explain yourself. Your actual houseplants watching you differently. They know. They're taking notes. 🌱
The Fine Print (Read It, Coward)
Beefthroat is not responsible for any garden, greenhouse, or Home Depot garden center that becomes self-aware after you wear this shirt. The mech is not available for adoption. It already chose you.
Add to cart. Water your plants. Apologize to your plants. Gary's watching. 🪴
More details
- Solid colors are 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton
- Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester
- Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester
- Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
- Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester
- Lightweight fabric (4.2 oz)
- Regular fit
- Unisex sizing
EU GPSR Product Information:
- Manufacturer contact information
- Name: Beefthroat
- Email: contact@support.beefthroat.com
- Postal address: PO Box 5696 Santa Monica, CA 90405
- Additional information: This product is made for adults. 2 year warranty in EEA and UK, established by Directive 1999/44/EC.
Quality Guarantee & Returns
- Quality is guaranteed. If there is a print error or visible quality issue, we'll replace or refund it.
- Because the products are made to order, we do not accept general returns or sizing-related returns.
Overgrown Overlord Plant Mech Tee Size Guide
| Size label | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
|
XS
|
27
|
16 1/2
|
|
S
|
28
|
18
|
|
M
|
29
|
20
|
|
L
|
30
|
22
|
|
XL
|
31
|
24
|
|
2XL
|
32
|
26
|
|
3XL
|
33
|
28
|
|
4XL
|
34
|
30
|
|
5XL
|
35
|
32
|
